When Feeling Sad Lasts Longer Than A Week.
There I was on my knees in the middle of the kitchen floor bawling hysterically with my husband holding me in his arms trying his best to calm me down.
I couldn’t catch a breath. I might have began hyperventilating. I can’t really describe what it was but it was a mix of screaming, crying and trying to breathe in between it all.
I just remember feeling really, really sad.
I also had a bucket full of other feelings and thoughts that were much darker than just sadness overflowing through my mind and body.
When my husband saw that I was inconsolable he began praying over me. Fifteen minutes straight of praying heavily for me with his hands on me and finally I was able to calm down and catch my breath.
“Everything will be okay,” He said, lifting my head up with his finger on my chin, “ you are protected. You got all of those bad feelings out.”
I looked up and saw the beads of sweat on his forehead from praying over me.
He lifted me up and helped walk me over to the den where he set me up on our couch under a blanket before he went into the kitchen to make me something to eat.
“You need to eat. We’re going to eat and watch a really good movie,” He said.
A few weeks ago I had an emotional and mental breakdown as a stay at home mom.
Realizing The Name For What I Had
After a long talk with my husband we came to realize I was suffering from a bout of postpartum depression 6 months after the birth of my son.
As soon as we had a name for what I was feeling we both had a small wave of relief.
At least we knew what it was.
Funny thing is, I’ve been down this road before. My experience with postpartum depression when I was raising Val & Rinne (when they were just barely 1 & 2 years old) was what fueled me to share with the world about the highs and lows of being a stay at home mom.
But it had been almost 4 years since I had felt that level of depression and so this time around I didn’t know I was depressed until I had hit a breaking point.
I talk more about my experience with postpartum depression as a stay at home mom in this video.
The Truth About Postpartum Depression
Postpartum depression can show itself in many ways and can often times go undiagnosed.
A misconception of postpartum depression is that it only can happen immediately after having a baby.
The truth is, postpartum depression can appear many months after your baby is born.
The Pandemic Is Stressful Enough
What is even worse is that mothers are at a high risk to suffer from severe post party depression right now during the pandemic because of the stress and anxiety of Covid-19, Corona Virus, the topic of whether or not to send children back to school and how, and so much more.
Literally, so much more.
Like politics, protests and medical advances being introduced to the masses.
But that is for a whole other conversation.
One thing is for sure, we as mothers, have A LOT on our shoulders right now.
The Symptoms of Postpartum Depression That Can Go Undetected
Below, I list out the symptoms of postpartum depression so that you can know the warning signs before you have a mental and emotional breakdown.
- Fatigue
- Crying A lot or Tearful
- Sad all of the time
- Anxiety
- You Find Yourself constantly complaining
- Angry or irritability
- Loss of interest in activities
- Thoughts of suicide
- Resentment towards child- difficult bonding with baby
- Feeling hopeless
- Inability to cook, clean, get out of bed
- Insomnia
- Loss of appetite
- Loss of libido
- Increased food intake
- Unwanted dark thoughts
- Mood swings
Baby Blue Months After Having Baby
Postpartum depression can appear months after your baby is born.
When most people think of postpartum depression they might assume that the icky feeling may show up loud and clear soon after baby is born. And for a large amount of women, this is true.
But for many, the symptoms of postpartum
Depression can show up months after you deliver your baby and the symptoms can go easily undetected until there is a large emotional breakdown.
Get Help For Suicidal Thoughts
If you experiencing suicidal thoughts call or text the numbers below.
You will be connected with a counselor who will talk you back you to your senses.
This is free and thy are available 24/7 365.
Even if you are not having suicidal thoughts, you are free to speak to any of these counselors. They are here to help.
National Suicide Life Line Phone Number
1-800-273-8255
Crisis Counselor Text Line
Text HOME to 741-741
To text a counselor for FREE 24/7 365
You Got This, Mama!
I am working on a few more blog posts where I talk more in detail about the symptoms of postpartum depression, what I did to bounce back out of my baby blues/ mommy funk, and so much more on this topic.
Do I still enjoy being a stay at home mom?
ABSOLUTELY.
I would not change it for the world.
But it is not easy.
And there are times when I feel all kinds of feelings about this season in my life.
But just with anything else in life …
Nothing is perfect and all good things take effort and sacrifice.
I hope this video and the videos to come help UPLIFT another mother who feels like they are on the brink of an emotional/ mental breakdown.
Lift your chin up, sis.
You are a BOMB MOM.
A BOSS BABE.
And guess what?
YOU GOT THIS!
