Motherhood, Marriage, And Proverbs From A Woman Who Doesn’t Have It All Together…But Let’s Be Honest, Who Does?
Happy New Year, first and foremost, to every one! I’m still blown away at the fact that 2018 is long gone and that we’ve transitioned into a brand new year.
Although last year was very kind to me, and I hope the same for you, nothing beats the feel of what a new year brings. New opportunities, fresh experiences, and perhaps a few trials, which strengthen us in wisdom. Yet, little by little, along the way-we are always progressing, whether we know it or not. The Lord is always refining us, blessing and reshaping.
So for most of us, a new year means we grow another year older and wiser. For me, I get to celebrate my birthday in the very first month where the New Year begins.
Yes, I’m a January baby.
Yes, I’m used to getting smaller birthday gifts (sometimes none) because it is so close to Christmas and New Years and everyone is usually all spent out from the holidays.
But as you get older you don’t expect gifts and toys but instead savor the very essence of the true gift of being able to experience another year of life with those whom you love the most.
Any who, in honor of celebrating my upcoming day of birth (in which happens to be no big deal but what kind of millennial would I be if I didn’t take the time out to humbly toot my own horn) I have compiled a list of 29 Life Lessons I’ve Learned In 29 years.
Now, of course, these aren’t all of the lessons I’ve learned in my (soon to be) 29 years of being alive. That would be one lesson learned a year and I’ve certainly had seasons where I’ve grown “wiser” in a span of three months. And by “wiser” I mean, I’ve fallen on my butt more than enough to question if I was being punished or targeted in one way or another by a villain in my own life story.
You know, Hercules vs. Hades, The Dalmatians vs. Cruella De Vil, Peter Pan vs. Captain Hook. I’ve had seasons in my life similar to most Disney movie plots. Well, at least in my mind.
Trust me, I been in a place in life where I understood where Job in the bible was coming from. I mean, it was never as bad as he had it but just about. I feel you Job, I feel you.
But from it all, we grow wiser & develop tougher skin. The end result is always success, happiness, triumph and an outpouring of blessings that outweigh the tribulation.
So if you are younger than me, read these life lessons I share and take heed. My goal is to inspire and uplift you. If you are older than me and are reading this, comment below and add the lessons you’ve learned that that should be included in this list.
So with no further ado, my list of 29 Lessons Learned In 29 Years of Life:
- It’s never too late to start towards your goal(s). It will feel like you began late, because others have begun before you. But it’s never too late. Lee Child (an award winning author of the Jack Reacher novels) didn’t publish his first book until he was 43 years old. Jeff Bezos launched Amazon at the age of 31. Vera Wang didn’t enter the fashion industry until she was 40 years old.
- Focus on your marathon. Don’t worry about what and how other people are doing in their marathon. It should inspire you but should not be your focus or it will slow you down. How can you make it to the finish line if your eyes aren’t fixated on what is in front of YOU?
- Being a SAHM is not for everyone. Anyone can do it, but it’s not for everyone and that is okay. Some of us will need to grow in our roles; I know had to myself. So if you need to learn how to be a SAHM…that’s okay. If the glove fits naturally, good for you. And if you find that you just can’t-don’t feel too bad. Do the best that you can. Most of the time our best won’t look like everyone else’s.
- Marriage takes commitment. (Matthew 19:4-6). Biblically, do whatever you can do to fight for your love. Keep your love pure, protect it. As there is no lukewarm in the church (The Lord despises lukewarm Christians Revelation 3:16) there should not be lukewarm love for your spouse. Despite what the world may throw at you, keep the love between you and your spouse alive.
- It’s okay to get married and start a family at a young age. (I’m talking around the ages of 20-25). As long as it is based in Christ and you are not strangers but have gotten to know one another, yes, it is okay. I will expand on this but I know a Christian, married couple who is of color with two young children who were married at 21 years of age. And let me tell you, they are setting an example to the world that it can be done!
- Music can brainwash you. Use it for good. Pay attention to the lyrics.
- Be careful who you idolize. The people that you look up to…what are their beliefs and lifestyles? Ask The Lord for discernment. Sometimes you will find that the person that has the most fans … may not actually be a good role model for you or your family. This can be applied to celebrities, artists, social media influencers, community leaders (in and outside of the church), friends and even family members.
- People will let you down. People have their seasons.
- Learn how to cook. Not only does it help you save money, it is healthier to cook from home. Even if your husband is the chef in the family, it is nice to be able to whip up something nice in the kitchen. Not to mention, what you feed yourself and your children will determine your health.
- If you love to do it, do it with all of your heart. Money will come eventually, but don’t focus on that at first.
- God doesn’t make mistakes. People do. Trust Him Always. And what He has for you can NEVER be dismissed. Despite whether or not your blessing has been thwarted along it’s way to you. Read the story of Joseph in the bible and how he ended up being the Prince of Egypt even after his jealous brothers sold him to slavery years before. (Genesis Chapters 37-45)
- You don’t need to eat as much meat as you are used to eating. Protein truly comes from plant sources.
- Find a workout that you enjoy. Dance, yoga, marathons, boot camps, sports, anything! Switch up your fitness routine. But stay active …you will feel much better! (I’m talking about less fatigue, increased awareness, less inflammation, less illness, lowered cancer rates, better sleep, increased libido, and weight loss)
- Pray for your enemies and sit back and watch God work. I say this in the most benevolent way. Sometimes they will become your companions, sometimes you will witness The Lord transform your enemies into better people and they will have no idea your prayers had anything to do with it.
- Pray constantly and watch miracles happen. And trust me, they do happen.
- The Bible holds a lot of the truths of the universe. If it says it, believe it. Read the bible. People, since the beginning of time, have been struggling with every tiny thing we struggle with until this very day (infertility, promiscuity, witchcraft, jealousy, betrayal, etc) and the bible paints it out very nicely through parables and true stories. There is nothing new under the sun. (The very essence of Ecclesiastes).
- Wear clothes that fit. Don’t worry about the size. It might disappoint you that you have to get a large instead of the medium shirt. But squeezing into that medium top will actually make you look larger. Wearing clothes that fit allows you to look well put together and can mask what you may be insecure about in a tactful, classy way. It doesn’t have to hang off of you, just wear what fits comfortably.
- Pay your bills ahead and on time. This is a given but please don’t fall into the trap of constantly pushing your bills back because you chose to spend your money on frivolous things. Pay attention to how much you pay in late fees month after month, this money is wasted money.
- Give and you will receive. You reap what you sow. Tithe to your church. Give to the hungry, homeless, and poor. Donate clothes. Tip well. It doesn’t always have to be money, either. Give a smile, a hug, a ride, or kind and uplifting words. Try your best to reciprocate when someone gives anything to you. Give without expecting anything back. God will bless you ten times over.
- Invest in yourself, in something. Get a gym bag, gym membership, a microphone, set up a podcast website, invest in your own blog website, take that trip, invest in that certification, invest in marketing, invest in an editor, invest in property. Go to that conference, buy the new tires for your car. Spend your money wisely, of course, but don’t’ be afraid to invest in yourself and your future.
- Plan for retirement. I don’t know about you, but I don’t want to work when I’m old and gray. I want to enjoy being a fulltime grandma to my grandkids alongside my husband. I want to enjoy the sweetness of my valuable last years. I want to write and paint in my golden years and not have to ache and complain about working for “the man”. Plan for retirement, create sources of passive income.
- Serve your husband and he will serve you. Check out tip number 4 and 19 for a little more on this. Society today tells women that our men are equal to us and that we do not have to submit to our spouses. But this simply isn’t true. We have two different roles and in order for there to be balance in the marriage, there will be some sacrifices we will have to make. As we allow our spouse to sacrifice for us. I will expand on this in the future but I found that the reason why a portion of divorces happen is because one or the other person struggles with serving and submitting. Once we do this, the other will too. I know some people will disagree with me on this but that is okay. We all have our varying opinions and what works for ones marriage may not work for another.
- Be thankful because it can all be taken away in a moment. Straight like that.
- Live every moment intentionally. Put your phone away and get on your knees and play with the kids. Kiss your spouse randomly, mid-sentence. Be in love with being alive.
- What you ingest is what you are made up of. Eat less crap = feel less crappy.
- Stop seeking approval of others. Someone will dislike you. Someone will disagree with what you are doing/saying. Most of the time it will be the ones closest to you. (Luke 4:24)
- Most things can be argued. Most, not all. Someone can be convinced by a third party that it is a good idea to commit murder to hundreds of people and the murderer will believe he is doing his god’s will. On the other hand, the opposing (and hopefully, the majority) side will say murder is unjustifiable. Everyone has an opinion; everyone owns a different view or belief. Some doctors say take your prenatal tablets while you are pregnant, others will say you really don’t have to. Some people will tell you that homeschooling your children will help develop them in the most efficient way within a controlled environment, others will say that sending your child to public school gives your child the ability to grow in independence and become accustomed to the expectations of societal engagement and culture. Most things can be argued, and it is extremely taxing to keep up with it all. Do what is right, biblically and morally. Ask The Lord for guidance and follow your gut.
- Don’t let your face sun bathe and always moisturize your hair and skin. Thank me later.
- Just do it. Nike really got it right with that one. Everything else is just an excuse.
Well, there you have it!
My list of 29 Lessons Learned in 29 Years of Life.
If you liked what I shared please leave a comment and tell me your thoughts. If you’ve got a few lessons that you could add to the list, leave it in the comments for all of us to take heed to.
I am certainly grateful to experience another year of life with my wonderful family and another year of Gods grace and mercy.
Thank you, again, for taking the time to give this a read.